Assertive communication in the family environment

Assertive communication in the family environment
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п»ї<title>Talk to me a lot and talk to me well: communication in couples</title>

So what can you do? Above all, listen to yourself a lot to be aware of what bothers you on a daily basis and express it at that moment with respect. In this way, it will be easier for you to solve it with your partner and for you to get to know each other a little better every day. On the other hand, it is also important to express what you like about your partner, as this strengthens the relationship.
The importance of words to communicate emotionsNext, I leave you some more concrete keys so that, little by little, you become aware of the importance of words in the expression of your feelings and emotions.
Do not generalizeAlways, never, all or nothing... extremes, in general, are not good. They lead to misinterpretations.
For example, it is not the same to say: "you never collaborate in the housework" to "lately I feel that you do not collaborate at home, is something wrong?"; "you always have to watch what you want on TV" to "I would like to watch the series, what do you think if we agree on the shifts?" or "nothing seems right" to "I feel that you do not agree. Shall we talk about it?". Think about it.
Don't reproachReproaches make your partner automatically become defensive, so the message you want to convey comes through distorted.
Thus, it is not the same to say: "you have abandoned me, you ignore me" to "I miss you, you seem distant. Is something wrong?" or "I'm tired of you not listening to me" to "I feel annoyed, you seem scattered. Shall we talk about it?".
Don't labelTalk about what the person does and don't label it as something permanent. For example, it is not the same to say: "you are absent-minded, you always leave crumbs on the table" to "you have not cleaned the table, lately it seems that you are not so attentive. Is something wrong?" or "you are a bully, you talk to me terribly" to "I feel that you are raising your tone, I do not like you talking to me like that. Is something wrong to be so angry?
Resolve issuesIt is important that when you feel that something that has happened is not resolved, you talk it out calmly until you reach some pact or middle ground where you both feel comfortable. Otherwise, that wound will be open and every time you rub up against each other, the conflict will come up again.
Respect spaceThere are times when one partner wants to resolve something at the time of the discussion and the other party needs space to step back and reflect. In these cases, it is necessary to give space to that person, but agreeing when to resume the subject, otherwise, it will not be resolved and, as I explained in the previous point, it will happen again.
The key to communication in the couple is not to take things personally, even if it is complicated. It is about empathizing with the needs of the other person and being aware that they may be different from ours, without leaving aside what we ask for and need.
In a couple's relationship, it is necessary to constantly make agreements in order to be able to move forward freely and sincerely in the relationship.
Finally, remember that each one carries the backpack of his own life on his back, full of his family patterns, concepts, values, good and not so good events, ways of doing, personality... It is necessary to look inside it, but also in the other's, to create a new one together.
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