Love on the autism spectrum: couple initiation and development.

Love on the autism spectrum: couple initiation and development.
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Love is one of the subjects most treated by cinema, literature, painting, sculpture... To sum up, we could say that it has its small space in all the forms of expression we know. However, there are very few occasions in which the particularities of this feeling and the relationships in groups that are minorities in society have been analyzed. That is why, following in the wake of the series that has recently premiered on Netflix, today we want to talk about love on the autism spectrum.
Within the box of autism spectrum disorders are grouped a number of disorders that are characterized because they affect communication and behavior of the person.
Thanks to the screening tools available today, these types of disorders are usually detected at very early ages, which in turn leads to earlier intervention and better results. On the other hand, the fact that they already show their presence in childhood means that they are considered developmental disorders.
Turning to fiction, perhaps one of the most emblematic characters of this spectrum is Sheldon Cooper. In practically every episode of the series, we witness the difficulties this character has in socializing. We see how his friends, at times, have to make a considerable effort to fit in with his particular way of expressing what he thinks or feels. This may be a good starting point to try to anticipate some of the details that will let us see Love on the autism spectrum.
The First Date in Love on the Autism SpectrumThe first myth that the series debunks, and places special emphasis on, is that people with an autism spectrum disorder do want to have relationships. They may enjoy solitary activities, but that does not mean that they do not feel the desire to share and fall in love, that is, to share their life with someone or to build intimacy.
This is perhaps the first barrier they have to break down, that others are able to recognize this aspiration. In other words, in their way of understanding affectivity there is love. Thus, throughout the series we can learn the story of two couples who have already taken the step of moving in together. A path that, as they say, has not been at all easy.
However, what predominates in the series is the illusion of several people with ASD before the possibility of having a first date. In them we can see nerves that we know and insecurities that are also familiar, since they are not very different from our own. We can also be spectators of how this encounter takes place and of the difficulties they have to face.
CommunicationAt some points in the documentary series Love on the autism spectrum, we can attend some sessions in which boys and girls with this disorder prepare for these encounters.
The first point to work on is the greeting. They make explicit that way of receiving the other that we all have somehow internalized. Getting up to greet the other or maintaining eye contact during the first exchanges. A point that is also emphasized for the rest of the meeting.
Another skill that is usually worked with them is to keep the conversation alive. To do this, they are encouraged to make a short list of topics and questions they would like to ask the other person.
Then, they are suggested to move to a higher level, so that the conversation moves from being an interrogation to a more real conversation in which there is less chance of the other person feeling intimidated. In this way, the exchange of turns is worked from a single question or from questions derived from an answer that have not been planned.
In all cases, the specialists try to make them understand the meeting and the conversation as flexible. A flexibility that they also try not to be too direct or ask personal questions that are at a level of intimacy they have not yet reached. We see that this is a point that is particularly difficult for them.
In view of this, the specialists convey to them an idea that they would surely have conveyed to the rest of us on our first date: interesting conversations can also be learned. That is why it is so important for people with autism spectrum disorders to interact with people who do not only share their interests, strangers with whom they will have to find common ground from the first contact.
The series itself is worthwhile. The fact that there is such a brave project already deserves that we dedicate minutes to it. In addition, as strong points we can highlight its sincerity: it shows us that a relationship for these people is possible, but also a goal that is not easy to achieve.
In fact, what we see is that most dates do not end up coming to fruition; this allows us to witness the emotional impact this has, but also how they recover and end up giving each other another chance.
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